Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
