i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
