my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize