omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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