So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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