Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
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while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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