I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
