No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
