she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
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I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize