I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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