yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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