Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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