They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
