bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
