We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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