Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There r osticjed everywhere
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
