i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
