You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
