are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
