Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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