Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
