Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
