my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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