I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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