I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
