Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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