I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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