Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
