How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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