He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
