hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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