Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize