So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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