so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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