FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
