capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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