I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
