you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
