Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
don't judge my taste in strippers
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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