i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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