I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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