im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
tell me about the eggs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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