i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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