There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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