The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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