You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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