yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
