Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
