Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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