Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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