she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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