im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
