The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
