Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize