After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
