You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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