His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
