I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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