I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
