You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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